Ellie Kemper Spills Her Secrets to Staying Calm Over the Holidays

The holidays are supposed to be the happiest time of the year. And yet, somehow, they can also feel like a group project where nobody read the assignment. There are gifts to buy, meals to plan, relatives to coordinate, decorations to untangle, and at least one mystery string of lights that stopped working out of spite. So when Ellie Kemper shares her secrets to staying calm over the holidays, people listenbecause she offers something rare this time of year: sanity.

Kemper’s approach is refreshingly unglamorous in the best possible way. She is not trying to win a gold medal in holiday perfection. She is not suggesting that every cookie be homemade, every table be styled like a magazine spread, or every festive moment arrive under ideal lighting. Instead, her philosophy is simple: do less, enjoy more, and stop confusing “memorable” with “exhausting.” Honestly, that should be embroidered on a pillow.

What makes her advice so appealing is that it feels doable in an actual house with actual people living in it. Not a fantasy home where children never spill juice, nobody forgets a gift bag, and someone always remembers to thaw the ham. Kemper leans into realistic holiday decorating, practical hosting, quick self-care, playful family traditions, and a whole lot of flexibility. The result is a calmer, kinder version of the seasonone that still feels festive, just with fewer emotional casualties.

Below, we break down what Ellie Kemper’s holiday calm strategy really looks like, why it works, and how you can borrow it for your own celebrations without turning your living room into a stress laboratory.

Why Ellie Kemper’s Holiday Advice Feels So Different

The most interesting thing about Kemper’s holiday mindset is that it does not revolve around performance. It revolves around atmosphere. That is a big shift. A lot of holiday stress comes from the belief that everything has to be bigger, prettier, fuller, and more magical than everyday life. Kemper gently flips that idea on its head. Instead of overhauling her home, she adds a few festive accents here and there. Instead of trying to control every outcome, she pivots when things go off-script. Instead of overcomplicating hosting, she mixes prepared food with homemade dishes.

In other words, she treats the holiday season like something to experience, not something to conquer. That matters because holiday burnout often starts with overcommitment and perfectionism. Once you decide that every meal must be legendary, every gift must be emotionally profound, and every gathering must become a core memory, you have basically signed yourself up for panic with a peppermint garnish.

Kemper’s tone is different. It is softer. More forgiving. More human. It allows for fun, but it also leaves room for reality. And reality, as most families know, includes traffic, crumbs, forgotten batteries, mismatched wrapping paper, and at least one child who is more interested in the box than the present inside it.

Ellie Kemper’s Holiday Calm Playbook

1. Keep the decorating simple

One of Kemper’s smartest tips is also one of the easiest to steal: do not overhaul your home. Add festive candles, decorative tableware, or a few cheerful touches, and call it a day. This is such a helpful reminder because holiday decorating can quietly become a second job. Suddenly you are fluffing garlands at 10 p.m. and arguing with ribbon like it owes you money.

Simple décor works because it changes the mood without hijacking your time, your budget, or your patience. A home does not have to look like a department store window to feel warm and celebratory. A few thoughtful details often create more comfort than an all-out decorating marathon. The goal is not to impress strangers on the internet. The goal is to make your space feel welcoming to the people who actually live there.

2. Stop chasing perfection

Kemper’s holiday approach also comes with a quiet but powerful message: perfection is overrated. As a mom, she has learned that kids often take decorating into their own hands, and not every festive plan goes the way you imagined. That is not a failure. That is family life.

This mindset is especially helpful during the holidays because so much stress comes from rigid expectations. You picture one elegant version of the season, and then real life shows up wearing sticky socks and asking where the tape went. The calmer move is to adapt. When the cookies burn, laugh. When the centerpiece leans a little left, let it lean. When dinner is delayed, serve appetizers and move on. A holiday that feels relaxed will usually be remembered more fondly than one that looked perfect but felt tense.

3. Mix homemade with store-bought

If there were a holiday survival hall of fame, this tip would deserve its own plaque. Kemper recommends combining prepared food with homemade food so you do not have to cook everything yourself. That is not laziness. That is wisdom. That is leadership. That is protecting your peace.

There is absolutely no prize for personally handcrafting every side dish while developing a thousand-yard stare in front of the oven. The holidays are a great time to ask one simple question: what truly needs to be homemade, and what can be outsourced without anyone caring? Maybe your signature pie stays. Maybe the rolls come from the bakery. Maybe the appetizer platter arrives fully assembled and everyone lives happily ever after.

Practical hosting is not less meaningful. In many cases, it is more meaningful because it frees you up to be present. Guests tend to remember the feeling of the gathering more than the origin story of the cranberry sauce.

4. Give kids something to do

Kemper also shares a host-friendly truth that every adult secretly knows: children at holiday gatherings need a mission. Her suggestion is delightfully straightforwardset them up with Legos or another activity and let them entertain themselves while the adults handle meal prep and conversation.

This works because boredom is one of the fastest ways to turn a peaceful gathering into a tiny rebellion. When kids have an inviting activity, the whole room relaxes. Adults can finish cooking, relatives can chat, and nobody has to stop gravy production to referee a dispute over who touched whose ornament first. Holiday calm is often less about grand emotional breakthroughs and more about having colored pencils on the table at the right time.

5. Take tiny reset breaks

Perhaps the most underrated part of Kemper’s approach is her insistence on brief moments of self-care. She talks about taking five minutes to lie down, breathe, and reset. That is a powerful reminder that calm is not something you magically feel after everything is done. Calm is something you create in little pockets while life is still happening.

These breaks do not have to be dramatic. You do not need a mountain retreat or a sound bath in a cedar dome. Sometimes holiday peace looks like stepping into a quiet room, taking a few deep breaths, drinking water, putting on hand cream, or sitting with a candle lit nearby while everyone else debates board games in the next room. The point is to interrupt the stress cycle before it starts running the show.

6. Lean into low-pressure traditions

Kemper also keeps beloved traditions alive without making them complicated. Watching National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation is one of her family’s enduring rituals, and matching holiday pajamas for the family add a playful, repeatable touch to the season. This is the sweet spot: traditions that are joyful, easy to repeat, and not exhausting to produce.

The best traditions are often the simplest ones. A favorite movie. Pancakes on Christmas morning. A walk after dinner. Matching pajamas that are adorable for ten minutes and then suspiciously warm. These rituals matter because they create emotional texture without requiring event-planner energy. You do not need ten traditions. You need a few good ones that people genuinely enjoy.

Why Her Method Actually Works

Kemper’s holiday style lines up beautifully with what mental health and wellness experts often recommend during high-stress seasons. Realistic expectations reduce the pressure that makes people feel like they are constantly falling behind. Small breaks help regulate stress before it snowballs. Flexible thinking makes it easier to cope when plans change. Boundaries around time, food prep, travel, and social obligations protect your energy instead of draining it dry.

That is why her advice feels both charming and effective. She is not just offering cute holiday hacks. She is modeling a healthier relationship with the season. Rather than treating every inconvenience as a disaster, she keeps the stakes low. Rather than trying to do everything, she simplifies. Rather than waiting for the perfect moment to relax, she takes short moments where she can find them.

And maybe that is the real secret: calm people are not always living calmer lives. They are often just responding to busy lives with better habits. They build in softness. They leave margin. They stop making every task emotionally expensive.

How to Copy Ellie Kemper’s Holiday Energy in Real Life

If you want to bring this same spirit into your own season, start by cutting one unnecessary thing. Not ten things. One. Skip the extra event. Buy the cookies instead of baking them. Use the plates you already own. Say no to a plan that feels more draining than joyful. Calm does not arrive in one dramatic transformation. It arrives through small decisions that make the day easier to carry.

Next, make your home feel festive with less effort. Choose one or two sensory details that instantly signal comfort: candles, a favorite playlist, cozy blankets, twinkle lights, or seasonal mugs. You are aiming for atmosphere, not theatrical production. Let your home say, “Welcome, we are celebrating,” not “Please admire the twelve-step wreath installation.”

Then look at your holiday schedule with honesty. Which traditions still feel meaningful, and which ones are running on guilt and autopilot? Keep the ones that create connection. Edit the ones that create resentment. The season gets better when you stop doing things just because you once did them in 2017 and nobody formally canceled them.

Finally, protect your own energy like it belongs to someone you love. Eat before you get too hungry. Sleep more than you think you need. Take the walk. Drink water. Step outside for air. Put your phone down for a little while. If you are hosting, remember this: a calm host is part of the décor. Your mood shapes the room more than any centerpiece ever will.

The Hidden Power of Funny, Cozy, Imperfect Holidays

There is also something very Ellie Kemper about letting the season stay a little goofy. Her humor matters here. It reminds us that the holidays do not have to be solemnly curated to be meaningful. Sometimes the best memories come from things going slightly wrong: the crooked tree topper, the airport keychain gift nobody asked for, the child-made decoration that looks like a snowman who has seen things.

Humor lowers the pressure in a room. It gives everybody permission to stop performing. And that may be one of the most useful holiday tools of all. When people laugh, they unclench. When they unclench, the day gets easier. So yes, plan the meal and wrap the presents, but leave room for silliness too. Wear the ridiculous pajamas. Watch the cheesy movie. Let the mashed potatoes be a little lumpy. Joy likes a relaxed environment.

Holiday Calm in Real Life: Experiences That Make This Advice Stick

Imagine a regular December evening in a regular house. Someone is still answering emails. Someone else is trying to remember whether they bought tape. The dog has taken a suspicious interest in the ribbon. A child is asking for hot chocolate with the urgency of a medical emergency. This is exactly the kind of moment where Kemper’s advice makes sense. Instead of deciding the night is ruined because everything is not perfectly aligned, you lower the bar in the most beautiful way. You light a candle. You order part of dinner. You put a holiday movie on. Suddenly the night is not failing. It is just happening, and that is enough.

Or picture the first time you host a holiday gathering and realize, about forty-five minutes before people arrive, that hosting is basically theater with snacks. The kitchen is loud, the trash is somehow already full, and the table does not look the way it did in your head. This is where the combination of prepared food and homemade food becomes not just a tip, but a rescue plan. Store-bought dessert stops being a shortcut and starts becoming your best supporting actor. A tray of ready-made appetizers buys you time. Guests come in, see glowing candles and a welcoming face, and immediately assume you have everything under control. That is the funny part: people rarely notice the things the host is spiraling about.

Then there is the family angle, which might be the most relatable piece of all. Children do not care whether your decorating theme is cohesive. They care whether they are allowed to help, whether they get a cookie, and whether someone says yes to the silly pajamas. A paper snowflake taped crookedly to a wall may not be objectively elegant, but it can make a home feel more alive than a showroom-perfect mantel ever could. When you stop protecting every detail from being touched, you often create the exact kind of warm memory you were trying so hard to manufacture.

There is also a quieter experience many adults know well: the moment you slip into the bathroom, bedroom, porch, or laundry room just to breathe for a minute. It sounds ridiculous until you realize that tiny pause may be the difference between enjoying the evening and becoming dramatically annoyed by a serving spoon. Five minutes alone with your thoughts, a glass of water, or a face mask can reset your nervous system in a way that no amount of forced cheer ever will. The holidays are full of people telling you to be merry. Very few people remind you to sit down.

And maybe that is why Kemper’s holiday advice lands so well. It gives people permission to experience the season as they actually live it: a little messy, a little noisy, occasionally overcooked, but still lovely. Calm is not about creating a flawless holiday. It is about creating a holiday you can survive with your sense of humor intact. It is about understanding that warmth beats perfection, connection beats presentation, and a family laughing in mismatched pajamas is probably closer to the spirit of the season than any picture-perfect table ever could be.

Conclusion

Ellie Kemper’s secrets to staying calm over the holidays are not fancy, complicated, or unrealistic. That is exactly why they are so useful. Decorate lightly. Accept imperfection. Mix homemade and store-bought. Give kids a job. Take tiny breaks. Keep traditions easy and joyful. Underneath all of it is a deeper lesson: the holidays do not become meaningful because you squeezed every possible activity into the calendar. They become meaningful when people feel relaxed enough to enjoy being together.

So this year, resist the urge to produce a flawless season. Build a livable one. A season with room for laughter, for shortcuts, for imperfect trees, for deep breaths, and for the kind of memories that do not require a cleanup crew. That is the real holiday magic. And thankfully, it is much easier than untangling lights.